Be True to Yourself

In my programs and seminars on leadership skills we often talk about the traits and characteristics of a good leader. And because much of leadership involves people skills, what we call the "soft skills" of management, we often get involved in discussions regarding how to handle difficult or sensitive situations.

When it comes to dealing with people, there's usually more than one way to approach any given situation. And it's extremely rare during the course of these discussions that I would ever tell a participant that their approach is wrong. While I do tell people what I think is the best way to handle a situation, I also respect, appreciate and encourage alternate answers and approaches.

Underlying all these discussions, however, is a bedrock principle I make sure to interject at appropriate times: "No matter what you do, you first and foremost have to be true to yourself. You'll find it very difficult to have credibility with other people if you are saying things or doing things that you truly do not believe in. If you do, it's virtually guaranteed that you will come across as a fake or a phony. To maintain personal credibility, you must be true to yourself."

Now that doesn't mean that you, as a manager will never have to do things you don't like or disagree with. But if you can rationalize and accept what you are being asked to do, even though you may not think it best, then you should be able to say and do the things necessary to be supportive to the approach, even though you're not in agreement.

On the other hand, if you believe you are being asked to do something you believe is totally wrong and goes against your fundamental nature, then you need to have a long talk with your boss on how to handle the situation. In very extreme cases, a manager may ultimately have to seek employment that will allow them to be true to themselves.

About me: Dan Pelley conducts training programs for supervisors in the New England states, with a concentration in Massachusetts, Connecticut and Rhode Island. His programs include "Handling the Difficult Employee," "Working Together," "Managing People," and "Leadership Skills."

Copyright © 2009 Daniel W. Pelley
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