The Rest of the Story

Last March we posted three reasons for not interrupting. Click here to see that post.

Today we'll add another reason to that list. When an issue is sensitive, touchy, delicate, troublesome, you-name-it; when a speaker really finds it difficult to talk about something because they don't want to hurt or offend you; when the speaker is trying to "talk around" a situation to avoid self-incrimination, blame for the problem, or justification for you to be unhappy with them; or for any other of a number of reasons; sometimes a speaker will hold back on telling you the "complete truth" or the "whole story."

In those cases the speaker tends to be very happy to let you interrupt. If they are lucky you may even divert the conversation away from the difficult topic or situation. Indeed, many children know that quickly confessing to a small offense may get Mom or Dad ranting and raving to such an extent that a bigger offense stays hidden in the background. Some employees know the same can be true with a boss.

When you are in one of these "delicate situations," and especially where you are looking at a counseling or disciplinary situation, it's best to let the speaker have their full say. Don't interrupt. But also avoid responding as soon as the speaker is finished. This is a great time to utilize an oft-times underutilized communication technique called silence.

People get uncomfortable with silence. If you try to not respond for just 30 seconds or so, you may find the speaker continues on. And as a great man often said "you just might hear the rest of the story!"

Gosh I miss Paul Harvey. Don't you?

About me: Dan Pelley teaches communication skills as part of his "Leadership Skills" program, one of five programs leading to a Certificate in Supervisory Management. Click here to learn more about our programs for supervisors.

Copyright © 2009 Daniel W. Pelley
All rights reserved.

Discipline - A Lesson to be Learned

The purpose of discipline to resolve an issue, correct a problem and/or to turn a bad situation around. If done properly it should be a positive experience, done in such a way that the employee understands that we want them to be successful and we have confidence in their ability to benefit from a lesson to be learned. That's the essence of today's blog post written by L'deniece Whitfield, HR Assistant Manager at Sheffield Labs in New London, CT. L'deniece lives in Stonington and attends our supervision series at Quinebaug Valley Community College in Danielson. Her article is reprinted with permission.

"I work with individuals from all walks of life; i.e., cultural and racial differences. Our Filling department is made up of immigrants (legal of course), low income families, individuals who are trying to lead a better life, etc. A lot of them have low self esteem and feel it's all they can do and no better. When faced with disciplinary action, I take the time out to explain the whys. Depending on the nature of defiance, I will go over company policy, the SOP or even an explanation of mere principle. It is very important for me to convey to the employee that this is not a death sentence; and will go away on its anniversary date; as some of the employees take disciplinary action very hard and become emotional and even sometimes irate.

"Step by step, I ensure them that the action is a warning and a lesson to be learned; I explain how important it is to be mindful of the little things when assigned to a task; explaining that the action is a mere bump in the road and that the warning is a way to make them more aware and conscientious. Furthermore, I also take the time to listen to them explain what happened and usually why they feel they should not be reprimanded. I then encourage them to explain in writing what their motives were and why they feel they should not incur this warning to be placed in their file. These suggestions have always been helpful; as it makes the employee feel that they matter and that they are not just another 'body.'

"I go on to share with the employee how much they matter and how well they are doing. I focus on their positive and not so much on what it is I want them to change or how non compliant they are. I tell them to keep up the good work, to find the time to re-test so that they can be considered for a higher paying position, etc. I will also make sure that the employee understands the reason for the warning and/or suspension prior to their departure from my office. The positive benefit by this trait is that the employee leaves my office with confidence and understanding and on two separate occasions the employee apologized to their supervisors. I was happy about that!"

Thanks very much for the insights L'deniece.

About Pelleyblog: We are striving to be a communication device for managers where many people can share their thoughts, ideas, opinions, perspectives and points-of-view. We focus on topics of interest to supervisors, group leaders, foremen, department managers, project managers, team leaders, assistant managers, associate managers, office managers, nurse managers, crew leaders, unit managers, and other first-line managers. But managers at all levels, and people interested in management topics are welcome and are encouraged to join us both as readers and participants.

Copyright © 2009 Daniel W. Pelley
All rights reserved.

The Mandatory Team Member

The day before yesterday, our post discussed the non-participating team member from the perspective of finding the cause of the trouble before we go to work on the cure. In exploring those causes we may discover that the non-contributor simply doesn't value the team's work, and/or its importance, and/or may simply have other priorities to attend to. If the non-contributor's participation is voluntary (or at least not mandatory), we can usually solve the problem by thanking the team member for letting us know, releasing the person from the team and seeking a new team member who wants to be an active contributing member.

But what if team membership is not optional for the person? Because of certain skills, or expertise, or some other aspect of their function in the company the person's membership in the team is mandatory and, therefore, a certain level of commitment, cooperation, contribution, participation and support is required from that person. What do you do when the mandatory team member fails to live up to their team obligations?

Assuming you've done everything you possibly can to get the person to live up to obligations and responsibilities of the team, you no longer have a team issue. You have a performance issue that transcends the team. The person is not doing their job. And that will require a level of counseling and discipline that goes beyond the functions of most team facilitators. If the non-contributor happens to also report directly to you, its time to remove your team facilitation hat and put on your boss hat. If the non-contributor does not report to you, then you need to let the non-contributor's boss know that their performance is not acceptable in terms of meeting the requirements of the team.

About me: Dan Pelley teaches coaching, counseling and team facilitation skills as part of his "Participative Management (Building High Performance Teams)" program, one of five programs leading to a Certificate in Supervisory Management. 137 companies in Connecticut (CT), Rhode Island (RI), Massachusetts (MA) and New York have one or more people who earned this certificate.

Copyright © 2009 Daniel W. Pelley
All rights reserved.

Understanding the Non-Participating Team Member

A team member who fails to participate, to attend team meetings, to make suggestions, to do their share of the work, to support and encourage the team effort, and/or to truly be an active member of the team certainly detracts from the team effort. And since most teams are small, that detraction can be significant indeed. Think about it this way: If you have a five person team and one person is withholding their contributions, you've lost 20% of your team's potential.

This is a very common situation experienced by manager's who must facilitate teams of all types, but it seems especially applicable to manager's who must facilitate cross-functional special project teams.

Before you can effectively deal with this problem, you must understand the problem. And the best way to do that is by getting the non-contributor's perspective. Find out what he thinks about the team and its mission. How does she see her role in the team? What does she like about the team? What does he dislike? What would he like to see changed? How would she like things to be? If given a choice, what role in the team would she like to have? What does the team need to do to increase his or her interest in the team?

If the answers to these and similar questions are getting you nowhere, and if the non-contributor's participation is voluntary (or at least not mandatory), you might them move on to discuss a different question: "Would the person like to be relieved as a team member?"

About Me: Dan Pelley teaches coaching and facilitation skills that support team member integration and positive team dynamics as part of his "Participative Management" (Building High Performance Teams) program. This program can be presented in-house at your company. Click here to visit our website to learn more about this and other programs offered.

Copyright © 2009 Daniel W. Pelley
All rights reserved.

The Next 10 Days

Most of my homework assignments contain a key question focused on making something better. For example. an assignment in my "Participative Management (Building High Performance Teams)" program looks at a weaker team player and asks what the manager will do going forward (as a coach and mentor) to strengthen the weaker team player.

All too often the answer involves generalities such as "I can give him feedback on his performance;" "I can talk with her about her negative attitude;" "I can give him some new assignments;" "I can let her try managing a special project;" "I can encourage him to share his ideas;" "I can delegate some responsibilities to her;" and so forth.

My feedback on these generalized answers is usually along these lines: "Good start. But you lack specifics. What can you specifically do in the next 10 business days to move forward in your coaching efforts with her/him?"

When an employee has performance issues and requires coaching from you, the overviews and the generalities give you a sense of direction and focus. But in and of themselves they don't create specific actions that you can commit to, plan for and implement to get the situation off the dime and moving forward.

About me: For 25 years, Dan Pelley has presented supervisory management development programs in Rhode Island (RI), Massachusetts (MA) and Connecticut (CT). He is the 2004 recipient of the Richard Fontaine Award for Teaching Excellence awarded by Quinebaug Valley Community College in Danielson, CT.

Copyright © 2009 Daniel W. Pelley
All rights reserved.

Thoughts on Criticism

Criticism should always be constructive. And since it's often associated with discipline, criticism is usually best done in private.

When giving criticism you should always believe that it is necessary and warranted under the circumstances; i.e., that the criticism was justified. But never criticize from a self-righteous perspective. Be humane and show some empathy when you give criticism. When criticizing others it helps to bear in mind that you make mistakes too.

In preparing a strategy for giving constructive criticism you might want to reflect on how you were given criticism of your mistakes. Can you think of times when you experienced good solid constructive criticisms that allowed you to maintain self-esteem while learning from your mistakes? If so, what can you adopt from that approach? Can you think of times when you experienced nasty criticism that lowered your self-esteem while escalating your defensiveness? How can you make sure you avoid that approach?

About Pelleyblog. This blog covers topics of interest to managers, particularly those at the first-line supervisor level. Topics include handling difficult employees, leadership, counseling, coaching, problem solving, lean thinking, motivation and time management. We welcome your comments on this post.

Copyright © 2009 Daniel W. Pelley
All rights reserved.

Don't Point the Finger

Counseling is the positive side of discipline. Unlike sanctions and punishments, counseling gives you an opportunity to work with the employee to correct the problem or difficulty. To keep things on a positive note, try to avoid "you" statements in your counseling sessions. You statements point the finger at the other person and tends to put them on the defensive. On the other hand, "I" statements tell people how you see the situation.

For example, instead of saying something like "All you ever do is whine and complain about what we're trying to do," try saying something like "I'm concerned that you may be unhappy with some of our recent changes."

The "I" statement is much more likely to be viewed positively, doesn't accuse the employee, doesn't judge the behavior and thus is more likely to start a constructive dialog on the issue.

About Pelleyblog. This blog covers topics of interest to managers, particularly those at the first-line supervisor level. Topics include handling difficult employees, leadership, counseling, coaching, problem solving, lean thinking, motivation and time management.

Copyright © 2009 Daniel W. Pelley
All rights reserved.

Brutally Honest

Do you have an employee who is "brutally honest" with co-workers? The kind of person who criticizes other people directly, bluntly and without mercy. They make little effort to be sensitive, diplomatic or kind. They dismiss the fact that the coworker may be upset or feels hurt by what they've said. They often justify their brutally honest approach by adopting the position that someone had to clearly tell the co-worker how things are in no uncertain terms.

In defense of their behavior, the brutally honest person usually takes the position that they are "just being honest" or they "tell it like it is," or they "don't like to beat around the bush." They fail to realize their behavior lowers morale, creates friction within the department and can easily be viewed as a bullying.

As the leader of your department it's your job to counsel the offender. Let them know that being brutally honest is not helpful, and the excuse of "just being honest" or "that's the way I am" is not acceptable. There is no excuse for browbeating or bullying a coworker which may ultimately give rise to complaints of harassment or even a hostile work environment.

The offender needs to understand there are constructive ways to give criticism, and those ways involve empathy, compassion, and understanding. If, after counseling, the offender recognizes the error of their ways and wants to change, you can coach them in how to say things tactfully, diplomatically and in a way that makes other people value and appreciate their feedback. But if the offender can't or won't change their brutally honest ways, then muzzle them. Let them know in no uncertain terms that they are not to evaluate, advise, suggest, recommend or otherwise get involved with co-workers in a way that can be viewed as overt or covert destructive criticism.

About me: Dan Pelley is an educator specializing in management training and development programs for supervisors and other first-line managers in Connecticut (CT), Massachusetts (MA) and Rhode Island (RI). The issue recited above came from a participant in one of his supervisory management development programs.

Copyright © 2009 Daniel W. Pelley
All rights reserved.

Analyzing Performance Problems

Yesterday's post presented a key question to consider when you have an employee performance problem. Are you facing an issue of skill and thus need to coach and train, or are you facing a question of will and thus need to counsel and discipline? You may want to read that post first.

I was first introduced to the skill versus will question in a wonderful book, "Analyzing Performance Problems," first edition, by Robert Mager and Peter Pipe. The book was a gift from Bill Ahearn, former Director of Human Resources for Newport Creamery Restaurants. Bill had originally purchased a copy for himself and was so impressed by the merits of the book that he purchased several additional copies to give to others including myself.

This is one of the finest management books I have ever read. I began recommending it as soon as I finished reading it for the first time, over 2o years ago. The current version of the book is the third edition which I purchased when it was issued in 1997. It continues to be a wonderful resource for managers who must deal with employee performance problems. Even better, unlike so many other management books, it's easy to read. And you can read it conventionally, chapter by chapter, beginning to end, and gain a tremendous amount of information.

But you can also use the book dynamically as it is organized as a decision tree. Indeed the third edition includes a copy of the complete decision tree as a fold-out in the back of the book. You use the book dynamically by having a particular situation involving an individual employee in mind. As you come to each question (decision point) in the book you answer the question based on the situation you have in mind. Then you jump to the topic in the book indicated by your answer to the question. In a dynamic fashion you are skipping over information not applicable to your current situation, and instead follow a path reflecting the current situation. You end up with a tightly focused concise set of information that recommends how to deal very specifically with the particular problem for the individual employee who has the performance problem.

Over the years I've always wanted to add a bookstore to my website at danpelley.com. The carrying cost of inventory and other logistical issues have prevented me from doing that. But I have added a recommended reading list to this blog and currently present the four management books that I favor most as valuable resources. "Analyzing Performance Problems" is of course one of these books. You'll find the recommended reading list in the right-hand column of the blog just above "The Icon Me" on the green bar. If you'd like to purchase the book from Amazon, you can click on the title in the recommended reading list and go directly to that book's listing at Amazon.

If you choose to purchase the book from Amazon or another bookstore or even decide to check it out at the library, I'd be interested in knowing your thoughts on the book.

About me: Dan Pelley offers a series of five programs leading to a Certificate in Supervisory Management. The five programs are "Managing People,: "Leadership Skills," "Managing For Results," "Proactive Leadership," and "Participative Management." 137 companies in Connecticut (CT), Rhode Island (RI), Massachusetts (MA) and New York have one or more people who earned this certificate.

Copyright © 2009 Daniel W. Pelley
All rights reserved.

Handling "Not Me"

Have you ever had "Not Me" in your department? You know, the person who always seems to be associated with a problem but for some reason can never be caught red-handed. You know they're involved. Your evidence is significant, but circumstantial. Hard to prove. Yet the problems created by this person are affecting your day to day operations, wasting time and money, and negatively impacting attitudes of and morale. You need to deal with it. But whenever you try to counsel the individual their response boils down to: "Not Me. Un-uh. Didn't do it. I'm a victim here. It's someone else. I wouldn't do that. No sir. Never. Not Me." What do you do?

I know a manager who faced this problem and tried to deal with the person through counseling. After several frustrating sessions in which "Not Me" would protest their innocence over and over again, the manager finally gave up. These were his final words to the employee:

"All right, I believe you. We keep having these meetings because somehow when these problems come up your name always seems to be associated with it. But every time we have these meetings you tell me it's not you. You're not involved. Somehow I've gotten the wrong impression. You would never be involved in such a thing. So now I believe you. And I'm done with these counseling sessions. I am not going to be talking with you about this again. But before you leave, I want you to know that somehow, whenever these things happen, your name is linked to it."

He continued: "I don't know what you are doing that causes that to happen. But you need to find out. And you need to fix it. So I'm telling you right now........... make it go away."

His tone-of-voice left no doubt in the mind of the employee that he was at the end of trying to counsel nicely. Nor did the employee have any doubt that the manager was nearing the end of his rope.

Copyright © 2009 Daniel W. Pelley
All rights reserved.

Discipline for All

Recently a manager called a meeting of the entire crew because a few employees were chronically late coming to work. Rather than deal with the individuals, the manager thought it would be best to let everyone know that lateness was not acceptable.

Have you ever been to a meeting like that? Everyone is scolded for the actions of a few. Whether it's lateness, extended breaks, personal telephone calls, too much personal time, too much talking, or what have you some managers think it better to counsel everyone rather than dealing with just the offenders.

Perhaps these managers don't want to offend anyone. Perhaps they want to avoid a direct confrontation. Perhaps they think it's more expedient to get the message out to everyone, or maybe they think that counseling everyone might keep some of the non-offenders from adopting the behavior in the future.

Unfortunately, a mass counseling session does not work. The offenders usually believe that the problem is no big deal, because if it were they would have received a stronger and more personal message. Indeed, some offenders might feel like they got away with something. It's even possible that some offenders are happy that otherwise good employees are being spoken to as well. The end result: every little impact on the actual offenders.

Good employees usually wonder why they had to go to such a meeting. After all, they haven't done anything wrong. They also wonder why the manager does not deal directly with the people who are causing the problem. And they know that work is piling up at their workstation while they sit through a disciplinary session that doesn't involve them. The end result: good people feel like they have been punished and that feeling lowers their morale.

The best rule: Counsel individuals, not groups. Discipline in private, not in public.

Copyright © 2009 Daniel W. Pelley
All rights reserved.