The Rest of the Story

Last March we posted three reasons for not interrupting. Click here to see that post.

Today we'll add another reason to that list. When an issue is sensitive, touchy, delicate, troublesome, you-name-it; when a speaker really finds it difficult to talk about something because they don't want to hurt or offend you; when the speaker is trying to "talk around" a situation to avoid self-incrimination, blame for the problem, or justification for you to be unhappy with them; or for any other of a number of reasons; sometimes a speaker will hold back on telling you the "complete truth" or the "whole story."

In those cases the speaker tends to be very happy to let you interrupt. If they are lucky you may even divert the conversation away from the difficult topic or situation. Indeed, many children know that quickly confessing to a small offense may get Mom or Dad ranting and raving to such an extent that a bigger offense stays hidden in the background. Some employees know the same can be true with a boss.

When you are in one of these "delicate situations," and especially where you are looking at a counseling or disciplinary situation, it's best to let the speaker have their full say. Don't interrupt. But also avoid responding as soon as the speaker is finished. This is a great time to utilize an oft-times underutilized communication technique called silence.

People get uncomfortable with silence. If you try to not respond for just 30 seconds or so, you may find the speaker continues on. And as a great man often said "you just might hear the rest of the story!"

Gosh I miss Paul Harvey. Don't you?

About me: Dan Pelley teaches communication skills as part of his "Leadership Skills" program, one of five programs leading to a Certificate in Supervisory Management. Click here to learn more about our programs for supervisors.

Copyright © 2009 Daniel W. Pelley
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