Overdoing a Strength

Today's post was written by Matthew McLaughlin, Regional Incentive Clerk at United Natural Foods in Dayville, CT. Matt talks about something that most people would view as a positive trait. In doing a homework assignment in our "Managing People" program Matt illustrates how overdoing a positive trait can actually result in the trait being negative.

Here's Matt's work reprinted with permission.

"When examining the results from the personal inventory it would be possible for me to choose several factors that would apply to causing negative impacts on my job. But for the sake of this assignment I will have to choose Number 5 Helpfulness.

"Now for most people this wouldn't be a negative factor but for me I feel that it is. At work I'm very helpful; unfortunately this has also resulted in some bad habits in my case. Simple things such as when listening to a problem I might just jump ahead of what the person is about to say and provide an answer. To me it really doesn't feel like I'm interrupting the other person but on several occasions it has caused very tense situation where, because I jumped ahead, I actually missed some details the person thought was very important. I won't say if those thoughts always were important or not, but it really gets on someone's nerves when you don't let them finish what they are saying.

"Other examples of this is me offering advice on topics I overhear without even thinking that others might get upset I am listening to what they are saying while still doing my own work. My boss even gave me an oral warning for trying to be too helpful. In his mind he felt it was creating a negative feeling to the conversation too often. Because he is my boss he doesn't feel that I should interrupt him no matter the situation.

"To counteract my natural tendencies to provide help that isn't really needed from me at the wrong times I have came up with the following action plan:

a. Review past instances where this has occurred and look for commonalities, there should be certain events that trigger me to say something out of turn. I just need to identify them.

b. Determine a way to predict when I might do this to someone. Got to study myself more to be on the lookout for the signs that I am about to interrupt when I shouldn’t.

c. Teach myself to hesitate when I interrupt someone so that I can decide if I should or not blurt out what I was about to say. By hesitating I give my mind a greater chance to frame a correct response if any response if even needed at that time.

d. Listen to any feedback related to the changes in the way I deal with people to see if it is working or not. Feedback from others is very important in trying to stop myself from doing this.

e. Make additional changes as needed as things progress.

"I've actually been doing this for awhile now at work and I've really improved especially when dealing with my boss. More often than not I will be about to say something but stop myself and wait for him to finish before I state my opinion about a topic. Also it has improved the atmosphere in the office with the other employees since I no longer butt in on their conversations when I shouldn't. Even those that before would just deal with my tendency to interrupt them appreciate the changes I've made."

Very good advice, Matt! thanks for sharing it with us at pelleyblog.

About me: Dan Pelley teaches the concepts of understanding yourself and understanding others as part of his "Managing People" program, one of five programs leading to a "Certificate in Supervisory Management." The issue recited above came from a participant in his "Managing People" program.

Copyright © 2009 Daniel W. Pelley
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