For Your Ears Only

I’m sure you are familiar with the concept of “talking out of school;” the idea of discussing something in the presence of others who really shouldn't be allowed to hear the comments. “Talking out of school” is generally not a good thing to do in any situation. When you are on the management team of a company “talking out of school” can get you into serious trouble.

I encourage managers to be friendly with the employees. To take the time to get to know each employee, build rapport, a solid relationship and open lines of communication. With certain ground rules and guidelines in place, I think it’s great for a manager to be friends with their employees and, for those who care to, to socialize outside of work as well.

The more friendly we are with employees, the more we must bear in mind the ground rule of being very careful about what we talk about with employees, especially when we are in a social setting. Don’t talk about other employees, except perhaps for a short word of praise. Don’t bad-mouth people or other departments or functional areas. And never ever talk about things you were told in confidence because you are part of your company's management team; things for “your ears only.”

These confidential items are never to be discussed with anyone outside of the circle of confidence. Never. Not to anyone. Not to your friends. And certainly not to your employees.

Interestingly, many managers will not even discuss these confidential items with their spouse. Their belief is that these things have nothing to do with their relationship to their spouse and, accordingly, the spouse does not have a need to know.

About me: Dan Pelley teaches communication skills as part of his "Leadership Skills" program, one of five programs leading to a Certificate in Supervisory Management. 139 companies in Connecticut (CT), Rhode Island (RI), Massachusetts (MA) and New York NY have one or more people who earned this certificate.

Copyright © 2009 Daniel W. Pelley
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