The Manager as a Doormat

It happened many years ago. The setting was a discussion group in my "Managing People" program at a local college. The group of supervisors included an administrator from another college, a quite liberal institution that was following the touchy-feely management style so popular at that time. The administrator's situation involved an employee was quite difficult to handle. The employee described was a real piece of work.

Other managers in the class offered many for improving the situation, but no idea seemed to catch on. As the discussion continued, I noticed one usually vocal " old school" manufacturing supervisor was focused 100% on what she had to say. He made no comment, but his facial expression was a mixture of consternation and exasperation.

The class was ending and I asked for any final comments. The old-school supervisor said: "Yes," as he turned to face the administrator and said: "Lady, what you have there is a case of gross insubordination and if I were you I'd bounce her ass right out the door."

The class ended on that note. During the next week I expected a call at any time from my Dean asking what was going on? Thankfully the call never came. As we approached the next class session, I began to wonder if the administrator would even come back. But she did arrive and took her usual seat. When the class began, she raised her hand and said: "I'd like to make a comment." Uh oh," I thought. "Here we go."

She turned, looked the "old-school" supervisor right in the eye, and said: "Thank you. I was shocked by what you said. And didn't like it. But the more I thought about it, I began to realize I was becoming her doormat. She was taking advantage of me and abusing our institutional philosophy on how to treat our employees. She was walking all over me. Thanks to you, I began to see her in a different light.

"Things have changed. I no longer feel guilty about her unwarranted unhappiness, unfounded complaints, lack of cooperation and support, and her failure to do her job. I've let her know in no uncertain terms that her behavior is unacceptable and that things are going to change or she will no longer be with us.

"Thanks for your advice. As some would say: "I needed that."



About me: For 25 years, Dan Pelley has presented supervisory management development programs in Rhode Island, Massachusetts and Connecticut. He is the 2004 recipient of the Richard Fontaine Award for Teaching Excellence awarded by Quinebaug Valley Community College in Danielson, CT.

Copyright © 2009 Daniel W. Pelley
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