Active Listening

A manager told me she had trouble listening. By nature she was hyper-active and an extrovert. She would usually interrupt while others were speaking. Indeed, she had a tendency to finish other people's sentences for them. I suggested she try active listening.

The active listener is like a student facing an instant oral quiz. If a student is told there will be a "pop quiz" on what the teacher says in the next few minutes, you can bet the student will listen very carefully. In a similar fashion, the active listener focuses on the entire message so, if necessary, they can completely and accurately repeat back what the speaker said. In fact, under certain conditions, repeating back in your own words what the other person said strengthens the communication dialog. It demonstrates to the speaker that you have been listening carefully and, more importantly, are interested in taking time to understand.

But how do you actively listen when there are so many other things that can distract you. Mental preparation is the key. The active listener prepares to listen by assuming the person speaking will conclude by saying "Please tell me what I just said." Even though the speaker may never say that, it doesn't matter. By making that assumption, the active listener is mentally prepared to listen carefully to what is being said.


About me: Dan Pelley is an educator specializing in management training and development programs for supervisors and other first-line managers in Connecticut, Massachusetts and Rhode Island. The issue recited above came from a participant in one of his supervisory management development programs.

Copyright © 2009 Daniel W. Pelley
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