For some reason that I've never figured out, I tend to feel that way too. When complimented I feel awkward and will sometimes look away or change the subject. Weird isn't it? And I truly don't know why I do that. But I suspect that it doesn't look well in the eyes of the complimenter, and I also suspect that it doesn't make me look very polished, poised or professional either.
I always try to give feedback on all homework assignments. This was my comment to the writer: "If you don't know what to say when people praise you, make a list of phrases and then practice them. Phrases such as "Oh thank you, that's nice to hear." Or "I'm so glad you liked it." Or "Thanks. I'm happy we could get that to you on time." Or "Thank you. I'm glad I was able to help." Or "Thanks much. I appreciate the feedback."
When I finished, I was astounded with my feedback. I believe I gave her good advice. Advice I'd never previously thought of to solve my own difficulties with receiving praise. Some of you have heard me say "I teach because I learn from every class." Well I certainly learned a lesson and a technique to use from this class, and I wanted to share the experience with you.
About me: Dan Pelley teaches the concepts of understanding yourself and understanding others as part of his "Managing People" program, one of five programs leading to a "Certificate in Supervisory Management." The issue recited above came from a participant in his "Managing People" program.
Copyright © 2009 Daniel W. Pelley
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2 comments:
Some people find it difficult to receive praise because they feel that there is something else that they could have done differently or better. We are our own worst critic..and tend to be harder on ourselves that others could ever be...perhaps those who find it difficult to accept praise are simply over critical of themselves and feel that they have not yet earned such praise...that's why I sometimes struggle with accepting praise.
Yes, that's certainly part of it. But for me, it just seems like there's more to the story, but I can't put my finger on it. Something that happened in my past? I can't think of anything that would relate. Cultural? Possibly. My mother immigrated from rural Canada in her early teens. My father's family immigrated from a sparsely populated Canadian island. I was raised in a solid blue collar environment. You were expected to work hard. Do your duty. Pay your way. Take care of your obligations. Do the right thing. Praise for what you should be doing? Not likely.
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